Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Count the Cost

April 25, 2011

Just like I expressed in my last post, this Easter was definitely different than any other Easter I have ever celebrated, but in more ways than I anticipated.

Sure, I was away from my family, in a different country, and entering the winter season as opposed to spring, but I also spent my first Easter Sunday at home sick, and I have been sick today as well.

Even though I have battled illness this Easter holiday, I believe this has been the most beautiful Easter I have ever experienced.

How incredible is it that while so many people across the world were meeting in churches to celebrate the resurrection of Christ, Jesus loves me enough to meet with me in my tiny little bedroom in South Africa? THAT is the God we love and serve!

Since I woke up on Easter morning yesterday through tonight, God has had me on a deep journey of remembrance, celebration, and introspection. Not only has God revealed Himself, His Son, and His Spirit to me more these past couple days than ever before – but He has also examined my heart and brought to light things about myself that had previously been hidden from me.

You likely do not have time for me to allow my confessions and revelations to spill out over this page, but I do feel compelled by the Spirit to let down my guard and share some of what He showed me this weekend.

Friends, I do not want to paint a picture of perfection while I am over here serving in South Africa and updating you via somewhat-weekly blog posts. I never want to paint any sort of picture of perfection when I am sharing about anything or anyone other than Christ Himself. You and I both know full well I am far from perfect. I struggle with sin, the enemy, my flesh, and spirituality each and every day. Praise God He sent His Son to forever intercede for you and me as our High Priest, and that as He molds us into His image each day, He is drawing us nearer to perfection – though we will never reach it, as we seek after Christ with our whole heart He changes us so that we might grow toward it.

Anyway, that is somewhat beside the point. Let me reference God’s Word to hopefully help guide the conversation back to the Center:

“Then He said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it…’

“A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, ‘If you want to be My disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison – your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be My disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow Me, you cannot be My disciple. But don’t begin until you count the cost…’

“Peter said, ‘We’ve left our homes to follow You.’

‘Yes,’ Jesus replied, ‘and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God, will be repaid many times over in this life, and will have eternal life in the world to come.” –Luke 9, 14, 18

The Lord drove these words deep into my soul today. You see, I had been walking through each day thinking God had already made me realize this life is not about me since my first semester of college at Texas A&M in 2008. It was then that all of a sudden, when I had no one else to rely on but Christ, our relationship flourished. After 18 years of living a life where I felt like the whole world revolved around Meghan Hendrickson – the Lord met me right where I was and gave me a painful, yet freeing, dose of reality.

Well God did that once again today. With every day for the last few years, God has grown my desire to bring Him honor in everything I do. I would say He has exponentially grown that desire within me since I have been in South Africa this semester. But no matter how many times I pray the Lord will lead me in His will as I surrender all I am to Him – I somehow have been entirely blinded to the sin of selfishness I am still treading through.

Jesus denied Himself when He took my sin and the sin of all humanity upon Himself on the cross He carried. Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice because the reward was better – salvation was better – HE was better. The love of God far outweighed the cost Christ suffered.

I am praying the Spirit enables me to put to words what He wrote on my heart this afternoon.

Originally, I was convicted to the extreme by the fact that although I may seek to deny myself and take up my cross daily to follow Jesus, that does not necessarily mean I follow-through and do so.

“Am I holding on to my life Jesus? Am I carrying my cross? Am I denying myself? Am I losing my life for Your sake?”

Those were some of the questions I brought to the foot of the cross today. No one else but my Savior could answer my questions, for I seek the approval of God and no one else.

In but an instant the Lord’s saving grace and powerful rescue came rushing in as I was wrecked with tears. For better or for worse, I am committed to following Jesus as long as I live – no matter the cost.

My sickness over Easter was by no means a great cost, but it was exactly what the Lord knew I needed to see the costs He is having me experience as He continues to lead me down this road of obedience through faith.

I was comfortable with the best friends I have ever made in my 21 years of living at Texas A&M, but God called me to pick up my cross and follow Him to Baylor. I was comfortable being able to call and visit my loving family whenever I wanted during the trials of college life in Texas, but God called me to pick up my cross and follow Him to South Africa.

I have left my friends. I have left my family. But the Lord has never left me – and He never will.

The Lord has helped me to deny myself in ways I did not even notice, and I am calling on Him to help me to deny myself in EVERYTHING. Though my end goal may be to bring glory to God, I am not perfect and in the process of seeking to worship Him with my life, I make several impulsive decisions that are not for the sake of the cross, but for the sake of my fulfillment.

“Father, I believe whoever loses their life for Your sake will find it. I believe when I surrendered my life to Your Lordship, I accepted a life of both blessings and difficulties. Father, help me to see Christ face-to-face every morning and every night as He reminds me to deny myself, and pick up my cross, and follow Him. May Your Holy Spirit grant me the discernment to know how to live, and move, and breathe for the glory of Your Name – the Name above all other names. Thank You for the freeing fact that there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Thank You for Your redeeming rescue all the days of this life You give me. I love You Father, thank You for loving me.”

-Meghan

Friday, April 22, 2011

Sacrifice

Friday, April 22, 2011

“Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High.” –Psalm 50:14
The Lord brought me to this verse in our alone time this Good Friday morning. Many times in Scripture we read that God does not desire our burnt offerings and animal sacrifices – He desires our hearts. I believe somewhere in the Psalter it says the sacrifice God desires is a broken spirit. But this morning – on the one day of the year dedicated to the remembrance of the greatest sacrifice of God’s one and only Son, Jesus Christ – He commanded me to make thankfulness my sacrifice to Him.
This is not just a coincidence my friends. You see, this Easter I am nearer to the Lord than I have ever been before, but further from my family than I have ever been before. Like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Easter is a family holiday filled with love and traditions. In 21 years, I have never spent Easter away from my family. While I am grateful I am not missing Christmas, it is a very odd Easter holiday as I am on the other side of the world bundling up in the winter chill during a holiday that is typically the epitome of springtime.
Though the Lord made clear to me earlier this week that the meaning behind Easter is still the same, I still felt the whole experience of Easter would be different – and it will be. But that is exactly where the Lord caught me this morning:
As He awakened me before my alarm buzzed, all I could see and hear was Jesus praying to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, and then walking over to see His disciples sleeping. “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?” (Mark 14:37) I heard Jesus ask.
As I got out of bed and began to clean myself up for the day, the Spirit began to sing this song from the depths of my soul:
“I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene.  And I wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean?
How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

For me it was in the garden He prayed, ‘Not my will, but Thine.’ He had no tears for His own griefs, but sweat drops of blood for mine.

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own. He bore the burden to Calvary, and suffered and died alone.

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

When with the ransomed in glory His face I at last shall see, 'Twill be my joy through the ages, to sing of His love for me!

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!”

After I had been awakened to the voice of Jesus the night before His crucifixion and had this precious song sung over me by the Spirit reigning within me, it was at that moment the Lord then brought me to read His Word in Psalm 50: “Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High.”
This Easter may feel different to me for several reasons, but I have more than enough to be thankful for on this Good Friday. When Jesus prayed the Father would take away the cup of suffering He was going to face on this day, but further surrendered to the will of the Most High and not His own, God did not take away that cup of suffering.
Jesus paid the ultimate price for my sins and the sins of all humanity on this day. Jesus gave His life so I might have life and have it to the full! Not only on this Good Friday, or on Easter Sunday, or on Christmas Eve, but on every single calendar day and during every single moment I should praise the Lord in thankfulness for the gift of life and freedom He has given me!
Jesus was sacrificed on this day for me. Jesus was put to death on this day for you. Jesus was crucified on this day for our brothers and sisters warring against one another in Africa. Jesus surrendered to the will of the Father on this day for those enslaved in Asia. Jesus gave up His life as a ransom for many – you, me, our neighbors, our co-workers, our family, our friends, and our enemies – those we know and have never heard of. Jesus died for all of us on this day as He paid the penalty for all of our sins. None of us are worthy. Scripture says not even one of us is righteous.
On this Good Friday, I am thankful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ. During this Easter holiday, I am thankful for the presence of the Holy Spirit Jesus has given me and the promise that He will never leave me. My sacrifice to God is thankfulness for His love and redemption. May He be honored and glorified through my thankfulness today and forevermore!
I pray the Lord brings to mind the countless ways He has blessed us in life, but even more, I pray He keeps our eyes on His Son who gave us life. Though I am thankful for the many blessings the Lord continues to bestow upon me, I am forever thankful for the LORD.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” –Psalm 23:1
Father, help us to remember You, and give thanks to You and for You all the days of our lives,
Meghan
“But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me.” –Psalm 50:23

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Listen

Saturday, April 16, 2011

As some of you may already know, I wear hearing aids. I almost got them in kindergarten, but the technology was not so impressive back in 1995. However, in December 2004 I finally got hearing aids and have lived everyday with them since. My hearing loss is hereditary, permanent, and likely to worsen over time. Hearing aids are a huge help, but there is only so much they can do. I will never hear clearly here on earth.

But do you know what is beyond beautiful? Though my physical hearing will always fail me, God never ceases from fine-tuning my spiritual hearing on a journey toward perfection. No, I will never be perfect, but I pray the Lord fashions me to look more and more like His precious and holy Son each day, and His standards are nothing short of perfection.

I do apologize for how much time has passed since I last wrote online about what the Lord is doing in my life, but I know God had great purpose in me waiting until today to share with you. The Spirit has constantly been renewing and refining my perspective since I last wrote. I wish I could share with you every truth He has opened my eyes and ears to see and understand in that time, but this is not the outlet in which to do so.

One theme the Lord has had for me over this last month or so has been hearing. God daily brings me back to the powerful truth that He listens to the prayers and the cries of my heart. But do you know what is perhaps even more awe-inspiring than that? He teaches me to listen to His voice too! God is rapidly bringing healing to my soul as He lavishes clarity upon me so I might discern His voice in the midst of a world of chaos.

My Teacher has spoken oceans of truth and gardens of visions to me in this season of life in Africa. I do not believe He is speaking to me any more than He always has, but I do believe He is enabling me to hear Him better with each day so I might truly listen to His callings and commands, and faithfully obey them.

One clear calling He laid on my heart at the end of February was to pursue the taste of a vision I believe He has to use the teenagers of the McKinney area to radically impact the community with the love of Christ this summer and beyond. The vision was clear, and the passion was strong, but the obstacles towered over me as I sought to move forward.

But friends, may I testify about the mighty work of our God this morning? Just as the Lord Almighty has demonstrated in my life time and time before, He is destroying those obstacles with His strong right arm in one swift movement! For if God is for me, who shall be against me? God continues to overwhelm me with awe as I experience Him reign over all creation in order for His good and perfect will to be done.

Though much has been done, there is still much to do. However, I feel confident in sharing with you all the fact that God is bringing me home from Africa early in my eyes, but right on time in His. I will fly home the evening of Friday, May 13 and will arrive in Dallas on Saturday afternoon. Originally I was not to return to Texas until June 28, but God’s plans always trump my intentions. He is bringing me back in time to start to lay the groundwork for the vision He has given me, and I believe He has given others, for this summer.

God had me dedicate the last two summers to serving the teenagers of two different youth groups in the McKinney area, and I believe He is calling me to serve the teenagers of the McKinney community once again. Though both youth groups are incredibly strong and overflowing with phenomenal teenagers, I discovered they both share the same weakness: service. Though both have a deep passion to serve, they are limited in scope as to what local service outreaches they can do simply because of their large size. Many local service opportunities cannot accommodate 60 plus teenagers at one time. Oftentimes these large groups of teenagers then have to travel all the way to Dallas to sort through clothes in a warehouse or food in a pantry. While these are important forms of service, God has broken me over the fact that unless teenagers can afford to serve overseas on a mission trip during their youth group experience, they are never able to see the face of service.


God is not calling me home in May to simply go out into the community and do a service project on a weekly basis with some buddies. Though that may be beneficial for a short time, in the grand scheme of things, it is temporary and lacks impact. No my friends, God is calling me to something greater, which requires me to surrender to serve Him with all I am – even though it is bound to be difficult.

My original goal was to have at least one local service outreach opportunity lined up for each weekday of the summer, and to have one or two carloads of various teens from the youth groups and outside the churches serve alongside me, and some other adult leaders God burdens the hearts of, each day. It would not be the same teenagers serving in the same way each day, but each day the community would experience teenagers truly being Christ’s hands and feet as they love as Christ first loved us.

Though God’s plans are quickly surpassing my intentions once again, my desire for teenagers to have the opportunity to not only discover and utilize their spiritual gifts, but also to experience practical forms of service that can be easily applied to their everyday lives, still remains.

I believe the Lord has been planning a movement that starts with the young people of north Texas since before time began, and although we have seen much growth and activity amongst the secondary students of the McKinney community already, I believe we will really see a catalyst amongst them this summer as they truly serve as ambassadors of Jesus Christ.

We were not called to hide behind church walls and denominations; rather, we have been called to stand firm in the armor of God as we daily fight for faith in every aspect of our lives. God has already gotten the ball rolling for this summer, and I do not think it is going to stop. It is like a tumbleweed that continues to get blown across the surface of the globe. Except, this tumbleweed will yield eternal ramifications as it cultivates a radical and passionate love for our Savior amongst all the peoples of the world, making the fields ripe for harvest.

Please join me in prayer over the Lord’s will for this summer. Pray He will continue to burden the hearts of those He wants involved. I ask that you, in the very least, partner with me in continued prayer over the summer, but if you feel the Lord leading you to get involved in a more practical and hands-on manner, do not hesitate to let me know! Pray God will provide opportunities to build capacity in the lives of those in need in the community and in the lives of teenagers. Pray God will open the eyes of the souls He has ordained to serve and be served this summer and beyond; pray He will compel them to stand up, speak out, and reach out in faith, hope, and love. Overall, pray GOD alone will be honored and glorified through what begins this summer, and what I believe will continue indefinitely.

We exist solely for the honor of the Lord’s name. In every prayer, praise, pain, and punishment – we were made to bring glory to the name of the Most High King: Jesus Christ.

Then Jesus explained: “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing His work. You know the saying, ‘Four months between planting and harvest.’ But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe for harvest. The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike! You know the saying, ‘One plants and another harvests.’ And it’s true. I sent you to harvest where you didn’t plant; others had already done the work, and now you will get to gather the harvest.” –John 4:34-38

Grateful for the unending grace of Christ Jesus that forever saves us from this dark world and from ourselves,

Meghan

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Rest

Monday, March 14, 2011


“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with You forever… When I awake, I will see You face to face and be satisfied.” –Psalm 16:11, 17:15

Moments before the teens arrived for True Love Waits last Friday, my whole body began to drown in what felt like a sea of sickness. After pushing through to reach out to the youth, I eventually had to lie down and find a local South African friend to take me home from the church. I ended up being sick in bed for the next seven days.

After two visits to the emergency room, six prescription medications, two over-the-counter medications, having my blood drawn, getting hooked up to a drip with two other medications, and a full week’s worth of bed rest – I was finally feeling better!

Though I delight in pouring over Scripture and writing out my prayers, attempting to do anything literate made me incredibly nauseous. I wasn’t even able to verbally share the things on my heart, because I had no company to converse with. Physically-speaking, it was a rough week, but spiritually-speaking, it was a refreshing retreat.

Instead of utilizing different avenues to draw near to the Lord, I had to simply tune into the Spirit who reigns within me. God used each breath of sickness to show me how to delight in HIM. Granted, it is important to dive into Scripture and journal one’s thoughts, but it cannot compare to the greatness of getting lost while staring into the face of Jesus.

Just like the Psalms say, as God awakened me from countless naps during the days and nights, I realized my healing was not dependent on the medications I was taking, but my satisfaction could only be found by looking straight into the face of Christ.

After 2011’s week of death (exaggeration), I was blessed with the chance to spend the weekend with the Even family. I am so grateful God has made me feel like a daughter to David and Liz, and a sister to Matthew, Grace, and Andrew. It was absolutely splendid to be able to enjoy the company of a family whom God has given such deep love and wisdom.

Again, just as the Psalms say, I felt an abnormal amount of joy from simply being in the presence of the Lord, and He seemed to shower me with His direction and desires for my life throughout the weekend. I intentionally did not bring my journal with me so I would spend more time dwelling on the Word of God and resting at His feet.

This weekend God answered several of my prayers in a supreme fashion I would have never anticipated. I found myself both energized and in awe of the work of His hands. He made His commands and callings clear to me, and gave me a peaceful acceptance and desire to move forward in obedience to His will.

After such a trying week, God gave me a weekend to treasure. The Holy Spirit spent the whole week preparing my soul to discern and receive the radical messages He had for me this weekend.

How often do we leave everything at the Cross and fall into the arms of Jesus? Not often enough. Why do I sometimes get so caught up in all I am doing for God, I lose sight of all He has done for me?

Friends, join me in asking God to help us seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness. We cannot direct our thoughts toward our King on our own, but He will center our thoughts on His character when we let go and intentionally give Him the control He has always had in our lives.

Praying we will be a people who live, and move, and breathe in and by the power of the Spirit,

Meghan

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Feed My Sheep

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


God has revealed more to me this week than I could ever express in a blog post. But I am praying the Spirit will enable me to share with you a glimpse of what He showed me.

After such an incredible day with Sterling and Gabrielle when the Lord opened the door for me to share the Gospel with both of them, I was desperate to find ways to feed God’s sheep that surround me here in South Africa – those outside the walls of the American Christian office I spend my days writing in.

Thursday morning I discovered my first opportunity to serve the community with the love of Jesus by accompanying Sue, a woman from my church, to a nearby orphanage. Lambana Sanctuary has 5 homes, but we spent our morning in the home dedicated to AIDS orphans who are not allowed to attend school.

Less than five minutes after I arrived I knew I had officially stepped out of my comfort zone. Juju, a seven-year-old who can’t really walk or talk, was missing his mom Thursday and kept screaming the whole time we were present. I was also told that if you’re a first-timer, Juju gives you a hard time – that explains the punch-in-the-right-eye greeting he welcomed me with.

Don’t get me wrong, I love kids when it comes to babysitting one night at a time, and if God wills it, I hope He will give me a few of my own someday – but children’s ministry is one of the last things I would ever sign up for. Granted, I was not leading a Sunday school lesson in a church building, but I was there to share the love of God with children.

While we were playing a game of Memory with the kids, I was holding a four-month-old baby boy whose twin sister rested on a blanket beside us. As I reached out to turn over the card I hoped would match my playing board, the baby boy spit up all over me. Gross.

You see, I have always preferred to work with teens and older. Once you become a teenager you reach the point in life where you are trying to decide who you are and who you want to be, and you are willing to process with people as you journey through life together. I thrive on sharing the Good News and the powerful truths of God with those searching for something to live for. Teens would never punch me in the eye or spit up all over me – or at least, I hope not.

As I attempted to clean myself up in the washroom, God began to teach me a crucial lesson He expanded on the very next morning as I took a moment to read Friday’s devotion from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.

The Destitution of Service

“Though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.” -2 Corinthians 12:15

Jesus Christ’s idea is that we serve Him by being the servants of others. The real test of a saint is not one’s willingness to preach the gospel, but one’s willingness to do something like washing the disciples’ feet – that is, being willing to do those things that seem unimportant in human estimation but count as everything to God.

Though my view of sharing God’s love has always been sharing His words of truth with others, is radically altering my perspective. Those little children will never know God’s love if I just tell them about it, rather, I must truly BE God’s love for the children to experience it. Those precious kids have no one left to love them without ceasing, but God has filled me with His everlasting love to pour out on His children – even the ones who punch me in the eye and spit up on me. Granted, I may not see direct fruit from my service, but in loving on those little children I was serving Jesus just as much as when I shared the Gospel with Sterling.

When God opens doors for us to do ministry, we do not turn them down because they are not our “style”. Rather, we step forward in humility, faithful the Lord will reveal something to us, and perhaps others, through our service, and prayerful that He might be glorified in our surrender.

Throughout the Sabbath God continued to captivate my thoughts with His view of a life surrendered to serving the Most High. In the midst of seeking the Lord through prayer and meditating on His Word, the Holy Spirit revealed an incredible vision to me! I cannot boldly share that vision with you all today, but it was sobering to sit in the presence of the Lord as He flooded my mind, body, and soul with an overwhelming passion to serve Him in complete surrender – no matter the cost.

Several times in life God has opened my eyes to see just a glimpse of a mighty vision He has called me to, but God often makes it clear I must take the necessary steps of obedience in order for the vision to move forward as planned. These commands are never easy to obey, as they often include a hovering fear of rejection, but also a greater fear of the Lord – a reverence before the One who equips me with all I need to obey.

Friend, if God is laying something on your heart, and you know it’s there, but you don’t know what to do with it – seek after Him in prayer. Ask Him to give you clarity and guide you in the direction He has planned for you to take for His glory. I promise you, He will listen and answer your prayer! It may take a long time or no time at all, but He will be faithful to show the next step He desires for you to take. Though you may not understand His calling just yet, He will show you how to follow Him in obedience.

Should we not trust God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are far higher than our thoughts? So when God chooses to reveal a taste of His purpose to us, should we not seek to follow His will above our own?

This afternoon I saw the face of Africa when I entered the over-crowded and poverty-stricken township of Alexandra. Tagging along with Trisha, an SIM missionary from my church, I was severely impressed by her ability to weave through the cramped roads peppered with children walking home from school and goats escaping from their owners. Eventually we arrived at the support center for orphaned high school boys.

While I was getting acquainted with the locals who pour into the boys, Wayne and Moses, I could not help but look out the window to see hundreds of young souls continue to walk past – praying the Lord would meet them face-to-face and keep them from walking past their one and only Savior.

As I got to know Quinoso, a 19-year-old orphaned 11 years ago and recently tossed to the streets, I enjoyed listening to him share about the USA history he learned in school, and his dream of becoming a lawyer and changing the world.

“Are you a Christian?” I asked.

“Ehh… I believe in God, but I just don’t know about being saved,” he responded.

“Well Quinoso, I believe you can change the world, but only if you have Jesus,” I said. “Jesus is the only one who is strong enough to change the world. Without Him, I can do nothing. But with Him, life is an adventure I never could have planned for myself.”

“Yes, I pray to God often, I just don’t know what is keeping me from following God,” he said. “There is more I must do first.”

“Quinoso, you know there is nothing you have to do to be ready for God to save you, right?” I asked.

“All you have to do is believe in God, believe in His Son Jesus, and desire for Him to be in charge of your life because He loves you, and you love Him.”

“Yeah?” Quinoso asked.

“Yes, really,” I assured him. “You know you are the only one keeping yourself from following God. You pray to Him as though you love Him, but have you given God control of your life yet? I will be praying for you, that you will be able to do that.”

“Yeah, yeah – I understand,” Quinoso began. “So maybe it’s like tomorrow I will be praying to God and I will ask Him to take control of me, and I will be saved.”

“Well, don’t do it just for me, Quinoso,” I said, looking him in the eye. “But I’ll definitely keep you in my prayers – seriously, my friend.”

I pray God will continue to teach me how to share His Good News of great joy through love and good deeds. Having the opportunity to share the Gospel is a powerful blessing, but it is not the only way we can demonstrate God’s love to those who surround us each day. I pray the Lord will use me for His glory in every moment – this life is not about me, it is all about Him – I hope He will strip me of my everything so He might continue to cover and consume me with His everything.

I pray God’s Spirit will open our eyes to see His sheep all around us, and give us a desire to feed them with His love in words and actions.

Until next time,

Meghan

Me with Quinoso at the support center in Alexandra

                          The center is at Ikemeleng at Scripture Union in the township
                                     Gladys has been loving on the orphans for 9 years
                                           Sue is such a blessing to know and serve with!
                                                          Juju is excited about his lunch!
                Had fun teaching these Alexandra boys how to play rock, paper, scissors!
                                Oh the game of Memory brings back so many fond memories ;)
Fun times groovin' and snappin' with Alexandra boys :)
Ride the horse, spot the cow, cast the lasso - YEEHAW!!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Deception

Sunday, February 20, 2011


As we pulled up to a run-down flat in the downtown of an urban center in South Africa, I looked to my right to see a beautiful park filled with willow trees and happy children playing, and I looked to my left to see several young adults crammed in the narrow drive.

I stepped out of the car to join my teammate and a new friend, Charity*, who ministers to people of all ages living in the inner-city. We walked a few feet down the sidewalk to greet a few 20-something year old girls whose bodies were stiff and still, but their eyes were screaming at me with hurt.

After a few quick exchanges, we continued on our mission to find Sterling*. As we neared the flat, I looked up above me to see clusters of guys on the landings looking down on the girls with fixed glances like vultures eyeing their prey. A honking car pulling into the drive jolted me out of the trance I had been in, trying to soak up all my surroundings, and back to the search for Sterling.

“Can I help you with anything?” asked a man who I assumed was the landlord, just because he was the only white man in sight. Although South Africa came to independence in 1994, remnants of the Apartheid remain scattered across the country.

“Umm, no sir, I’m with them,” I answered, swiftly rejoining my friends who were circled around a man.

Dressed in white cargo capri pants and a charcoal grey wind jacket, a tall and slender black man spoke in a low voice with the small group. Upon my arrival, I extended my hand and introduced myself.

“I’m Sterling,” he said, reaching his hand out and grabbing mine.

I had prayed to the Lord about this day, asking that He would help me to see people with His eyes and not my own. I had been briefed for a Friday of interacting with “pimps” and “prostitutes” to be better equipped to write human trafficking stories for the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering, but I did not want to look at a person and define them by the sin that pollutes their life. I would hate for a stranger to pass me by on the street and refer to me by the enemy’s strongholds in my life.

As soon as Sterling shook my hand and I looked him in the eye, I felt like I was looking into the depths of his soul and God gave me a great love for him.

Friends, Sterling deceives girls and forces them into sexual slavery. He is a human trafficker. He is a modern-day slave-owner. He beats girls, drugs girls, and sends girls to the street day after day to sell their bodies for his profit and their humiliation.

When I was 12 years old I was shocked to discover how many girls are trapped in sexual slavery in India. I could not imagine what sort of men could do such evil things to innocent girls. Over the years, as I have learned more and more about the human trafficking industry, I have been sickened by the people that enslave over 27 million people world-wide.

Here I was shaking hands with a man that should disgust me – and the only emotion I had for him was compassionate love. Praise God for His unending faithfulness! What an answer to prayer! I could never love Sterling on my own – but God gave me His love for His lost son in need of a Father.

After a short time we all piled in the car to head to another flat just down the road. When we reached our destination, I was burdened to know people lived in such a forsaken building. The fading sign said something about “mansions”, but all I could see was an old white concrete building, browning from the ground up, with shattered glass windows, and homeless people sprawled out on couches around the perimeter they had likely found in the garbage.

Sterling hopped out of the car to fetch Gabrielle* – one of his girls whom we had come to pick up. Gabrielle has an 18-month old baby girl who was recently taken to a safe home in a nearby city due to child neglect. We were there to provide a ride for Gabrielle to see her daughter and meet with social workers to decide if she was going to keep her daughter or give her up for adoption. The hope of Charity was that Gabrielle would allow her daughter to be adopted so the child would have a chance to grow up in a loving Christian family instead of a life on the streets.

I looked out the backseat window to see Sterling quickly approaching. Following Sterling was a beautiful black girl in a bright pink skirt, pink satin shirt, and pink flats, gripping her back while massaging her pregnant belly – Gabrielle.

After Sterling and Gabrielle got into the car, we started off on our journey to the children’s home. On the drive I found out that Sterling is 25, and Gabrielle is seven months pregnant with her second baby and is the same age as me – 21. The uncomfortable drive was softened with laughter caused by a handful of funny stories Charity had to share with everyone.

When we finally arrived at the children’s home, Sterling and Gabrielle waited anxiously outside the front door. Then there was the precious baby girl, Abbey*. Tears strolled down Gabrielle’s face as she reunited with her little girl. Even Sterling was moved, although Abbey is technically not his daughter.

As we entered the home, the social workers requested to speak with the mother, Gabrielle, alone for a while. Sterling was left with Abbey, another baby boy, my teammate, and me. As my conversation with Sterling progressed, I could feel the Spirit’s leading to ask him his story.

“Oh, it’s long,” Sterling said in a mumble.

I didn’t push it and we continued to make small talk while I saw him interact with the babies. It was clear deep down Sterling dreamed to be a father. Then God told me to ask him his story again.

“It’s long,” Sterling said once more.

So the conversation continued as I discovered he was originally from Nigeria. I asked him what his dream was when he was growing up in Nigeria. He told me he always wanted to be a professional soccer player and he still plays soccer every day. Then I felt the Spirit’s nudging yet again to ask him about his story.

This time Sterling was open to share with me.

Though I had been informed about what Sterling and Gabrielle do for a living, as far as I was concerned, I had no idea.

“There’s nothing good about what I do,” Sterling uttered. “There’s no good in what I do. There’s nothing good about who I am.”

All I could do was look into his eyes while passionately praying the Spirit would radically move through our conversation.

“I never wanted to be where I am today,” Sterling continued. “I never wanted to do what I do. I know what I do makes God angry. I know I make God angry because of the things I do.”

Sterling fled from Nigeria a year and a half ago because of the fighting. It took him two months to get a visa from a guy who told him about a business opportunity with a Japanese company in South Africa. When Sterling arrived he discovered that it was all a lie.

Having spent all his savings to get to South Africa, Sterling was stranded in the city in need of a job. With South Africa being a difficult place to find a job, and him being from Nigeria, he said his only option was to be a security guard. Sterling has a business mind – he can’t imagine wasting his intelligence by guarding an apartment complex for hardly any pay.

After playing soccer with some friends he made in the neighborhood, they told Sterling about their own business opportunity. Selling drugs and girls is a quick and easy income to obtain in South Africa, and many immigrants who come to find a better life but cannot obtain a job find themselves deep in the street business.

“I want to get out of this,” Sterling said with an angry undertone. “I am sick of my life in the city. I just want to leave and be done with this kind of life.”

“Sterling, do you think someday there could be something good about what you do?” I asked in surrender to the Spirit’s leading.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch all of that, what?” Sterling asked.

“You said there is nothing good about what you do – that there is no good in what you do,” I began. “My question for you, Sterling, is: do you think someday there could be something good about what you do?”

“Ahh, I don’t know,” Sterling said.

“Tell him about my love, Meghan,” I felt the Lord speak to my soul.

I began to tell Sterling the Good News about Jesus Christ. Sterling grew up in a Christian home, so he knows who God is and he has heard about Jesus. He knows Satan is attacking him. He believes he is the one who is holding himself back from following God.

“Sterling, until you know God – you cannot get out of this,” I shared in love. “You can continue to try, but you’re never going to get out because you’re just not strong enough. You need God to get out of this. He is stronger than you. He is stronger than Satan. It is not just you that is holding you back from following God – Satan is putting up a fight too.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Sterling agreed.

“The only way there can be something good about what you do and who you are is if you have Jesus,” I told him. “Sterling, there is nothing good about us. There is no good in me and you. Jesus is the only one who is good. We cannot make ourselves good enough to be ready to follow Him, because we’ll never get there.”

“I don’t know,” Sterling said – his face revealing the shame he is trapped in.

“Sterling, God loves you just as much as He loves me, and God loves me just as much as He loves you,” I encouraged. “All of the bad in our life, all of the things we do that we hate – Jesus took all of that upon Himself when He died for us on the cross. That is why He cried out, ‘My God, why have you forsaken me?’ Jesus was carrying the sin of the whole world. But the Bible says that ‘while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’ Even when we feel like we are at our worst – when we feel we have become the person we hate – at such a time as that, Christ died for us. He died for me and He died for you, Sterling.”

“Yeah,” Sterling spoke quietly in contemplation.

“Sterling, imagine I brought you a gift today, even though it’s not your birthday, I brought you a present,” I said with my hands holding an invisible gift box. “But here’s the thing, until you take that gift, until you receive it, the gift is not yours. I can sit here and hold it out to you, ready to give it to you, but if you don’t receive it you would get up and leave without the gift – and I would be left here waiting to give it to you. It’s the same with God. He has this incredible gift of love and forgiveness that He is ready to give you through His Son, Jesus, but until you receive it – it’s not yours. God isn’t going to force you to love Him – that’s not love. But until you receive that gift, God is not going to live in your life.”

“Ahh, I just know I am keeping myself from God, but it’s not my fault,” Sterling said.

“Sterling, until you give God control, this is never going to end,” I spoke plainly. “I promise you that God will give you the strength you need to get out and will provide for all your needs, but only if you believe in Him and ask Him to take control of your life. No matter how hard you try, you’re not going to be able to get out of this on your own. The only way you can be set free from this is with God, because He is stronger. I promise to pray for you every day. But I can’t make you choose to follow God. I do hope you will give Him control sooner rather than later, but it is not my choice – it’s yours.”

“Thank you,” Sterling said. “I’ll think about it.”

“Has anyone ever shared that with you before?” I asked him.

“No, not exactly,” he answered. “Not in those words.”

“Sterling, are you ready to come join us?” the social worker asked as he entered the room.

God burdened me to write Sterling a letter and to give him my Bible. I committed to pray for him every day – and I am. I ask that you will pray for him too. God has begun a good work in Sterling and I am faithful He will bring it to completion.

After we took Sterling and Gabrielle to lunch and dropped them off at their flat, we prepared for a weekly service that a local inner-city ministry holds. The ministry had arranged for a former drug dealer and pimp who received Christ to come share his testimony and invited girls and guys of the streets to participate in the evening.

When the service came to a close I saw Gabrielle across the courtyard reading the Bible I had given Sterling. She said Sterling wasn’t able to make it, but she wanted to know if I got a chance to talk with him while she was meeting with the social workers. I told her what we talked about and she said she was hungry.

Once she got her plate of chicken and rice the ministry had prepared for the homeless, she told me how they both want to get out, and how God is clearly working. Just the night before, they had been kicked out of their flat because Sterling owes the landlord 11,000 rand (South African currency), which is why they were in different flats that morning.

“We don’t know where we’re going to sleep or what we’re going to eat in the morning,” Gabrielle said. “I would like for Abbey to be adopted by a family that can love her and care for her. Things are really difficult for me and Sterling as it is right now, not including Abbey.”

We talked about God’s perfect timing and how they both want to get out of this business.

“It is like God is saying, ‘Get out of there. I don’t want you here. I don’t want you doing this anymore.’ Meghan, how did you leave the life you were living before?” Gabrielle asked.

“God,” I answered. “Really. When I decided to follow Him for the rest of my life, I gave Him control. He just shows me the next step – which usually doesn’t make any sense and it scares me to death – but He gives me the strength I need to take it. He never leaves my side and He meets all my needs. I promise you, if the two of you believe in God and ask Him to take control of your life – He will save you.”

“But I’ve prayed for a year now of doing this business, and nothing has happened,” Gabrielle said. “Some people tell me there is no God.”

“I can never believe that because I have seen God work in my life far too much for me to even think about the idea that He does not exist,” I shared in honesty while giving examples of His faithfulness. “If you both follow God with your life and pray to Him with FAITH that He can bring you out of this – I am faithful He will. But you must have faith. If you don’t have faith in God, you don’t have anything. You must believe in Him and not yourself.”

“It’s just, I have promised to never leave Sterling and he has promised to never leave me,” Gabrielle admitted. “I love him. No matter how difficult or not difficult life is, we both don’t want to leave without each other.”

“But if you both don’t want to leave each other behind and you both want to get out, I cannot imagine a better time to get out,” I said. “But the only way you guys are going to be able to truly get out of this and start a new life is with Jesus. There is just no way you guys can do this on your own – you’re just not strong enough – but God is.”

“I keep telling Sterling to go to church and fight against Satan, but he just doesn’t,” Gabrielle said as we headed toward the car to take her “home”.

“Well you keep encouraging him,” I told Gabrielle. “I’m sorry the Bible has my name in it and it’s got markings through it, but every time you see my name or the markings you can just remember that I’m praying for you – because I am.”

As we drove up in the dark to the same flat where I had met Sterling that morning, I felt nauseous looking at how many girls lined the sidewalks on both sides of the street waiting to be picked up and used, their owners not far away.

Gabrielle thanked us and exited the car. I opened my door and stood to hug her tight.

“I love you, and I’m praying for you sweet friend,” I spoke quietly. “You are beautiful.”

As my teammate and I drove off into the night to head back to our homes, I tried to understand how God chose for me to live in freedom while these girls are slaves. I tried to grasp why my opportunity to come to South Africa was not a lie while guys my age were deceived by an opportunity to come here. And I cannot understand – all I know is God is abounding in grace and shows us new mercies each morning. I did nothing to deserve the life He has given me, but He called me His daughter and has given me life so that I might take every opportunity to share that gift of life with all those dying around me.

Human trafficking can be summed up in one word: deception. Guys are deceived. Girls are deceived. The enemy is the ultimate deceiver and it disgusts me to see his work flourish. God is in control. He has reigned since before time began and will forever reign and conquer the enemy. God can bring an end to the slavery that plagues every nation on earth.

Do we have faith that God can do that? Are we ready to face the costs that come with surrendering to His will? Do we have the endurance to persevere through the persecution that will come our way? Do we believe God will give us the strength we need to fight to free the over 27 million slaves around the world? Here’s the thing, there are far more than 27 million slaves around the world. In a world of 6 billion people, billions of souls are slaves to the enemy – are we ready to do whatever it takes to help them find freedom in Jesus Christ?

We have been set free from sin. Should we keep our freedom to ourselves believing no one else deserves it? By no means! There are plenty of excuses we can hide behind that keep us from devoting our days to knowing God and making Him known by sharing the Gospel with the hurting souls that surround us at home and abroad. But those are not sufficient excuses. There is no excuse for not living a life worthy of God sending His Son to die for. Sure, we’re going to screw up – that’s our nature. But what’s our aim? What’s our motivation? What’s our purpose?

On Friday I shared with Sterling and Gabrielle my favorite verse in Scripture, and I feel led to share it with you today:

“I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” –Philippians 3:13

Praying over this dark and desperate world in need of our Savior,

Meghan

*Name changed

 Sweet Baby Abbey :)
 Gabrielle reading the Bible I gave Sterling :)
Praying for these three souls daily :)
Charity and me listening to a former drug dealer/pimp share
his powerful testimony of God's transforming grace!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Worship

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


This past week God has taken every moment of each day to teach me something about Him and about myself. I do not even know where to begin, but I am praying God will reign over all I write and hope just one word He lays on my heart will draw you nearer to Him today.

While I was interviewing a man for a story today, he said he believes as Christians we are called to worship God with our whole being – with everything we are. I fully agree with him, but why do my heart, mind, body, and soul not reflect such a complete call to worship God?

God has compelled me to worship Him more and more with every breath, but why do I still worship so many other things on this earth? I don’t believe God wants me to worship Him above all else – I believe He wants me to worship Him in the place of all else.

With every breath I take I am surrounded by a world filled with idols fighting for my devotion.

After being sick last week, I spent most of the weekend resting as I watched some movies I had never before seen, such as “Australia” with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. The film is by no means Biblical, but I felt the Lord speaking to my soul as the plot continued to unfold.

There is a scene toward the end where a little boy is overflowing with joy as he skips toward his new family, but he has no idea his first father is aiming to shoot, kill, and destroy him. And his first father does not realize the boy’s grandfather is looking out for him from above as he shoots an arrow through the evil father.

I could not help but feel like the little child in the scene. I live life in delight, not having any idea my first father, the enemy, is aiming to shoot, kill, and destroy me while my Heavenly Father is looking out for me from above as He forever conquers the evil one. There is a spiritual battle taking place all around me, one that never dies down, and I walk through life oblivious to who wants to take my life and the One who continues to give me life – Jesus Christ.

I never before realized how many things I worship until the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see the idols in my life this week. Sure, I have grown up hearing the command to worship God above all else – but no one ever told me to worship God instead of everything else. Maybe it was a given, but I never got it until now.

I worship my family – being with them and loving them. I worship my appearance – embarrassed when people see me before I have had a chance to clean up. I worship my writing – conscious of my editor’s opinion. I worship evangelism – struggling to find purpose outside of sharing the Gospel and loving those who do not know love. I worship youth ministry – feeling selfish if I am not pouring into teens. I worship musical worship – seeking the Lord more in that segment of a service than other times of the day. I worship money – always wavering about whether to give or to save. I worship sleep – upset if I do not get the rest I desire. I worship Texas A&M – identifying with the past instead of embracing the present place God has placed me: Baylor. I worship friendships – looking forward to how the Holy Spirit is going to move in our conversations instead of experiencing Him work right now. I worship writing out my prayers – burdened with the feeling that if I truly care about something, I will take time to write it out. I worship Scripture – more sensitive to receive from God in His written Word than in His spoken Word. I worship marriage – praying for and hoping to meet the man God desires for me to serve Him with for the rest of my life. I worship food – giving into every craving and holding tight to addictions. I worship God – loving Him because He first loved me.

You see how my worship of God is just an afterthought in the midst of everything else? Most of the idols I took time to note are not evil, but when they take away from me wholly worshipping my King, they sure are.

Yesterday I discovered and completed further research to find out my favorite nutritional items are causes to the health problems I have faced for years. Even though I know I need to change my diet because the benefit far outweighs the cost, I am deep in doubt that I can successfully change and no longer feel the void left by foregoing certain nutritional products.

I know this sounds silly, but it is seriously a struggle of mine. There are certain things I feel like I need each day, when the only thing I need each day is God, and He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me. I say I trust God. But I do not trust God to enable me to make the change. I am putting more faith in my 21-year history of living than the unending, timeless, and unchanging God whose Spirit reigns in me.

I keep looking to so many things to satisfy me – whether physical, emotional, spiritual, relational or nutritional – but God is the only one who is able to satisfy me beyond measure.

I desire to hunger for nothing else but the Lord. I desire to worship no one else but the Most High. I desire to seek after God alone. I pray He will truly take my everything and be my Everything.

What do you worship? What is battling for your attention as you read this? Ask God to conquer and destroy the idols in your life so you will worship Him in the place of all else.

In loving prayer,

Meghan

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” –John 10:10