Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Count the Cost

April 25, 2011

Just like I expressed in my last post, this Easter was definitely different than any other Easter I have ever celebrated, but in more ways than I anticipated.

Sure, I was away from my family, in a different country, and entering the winter season as opposed to spring, but I also spent my first Easter Sunday at home sick, and I have been sick today as well.

Even though I have battled illness this Easter holiday, I believe this has been the most beautiful Easter I have ever experienced.

How incredible is it that while so many people across the world were meeting in churches to celebrate the resurrection of Christ, Jesus loves me enough to meet with me in my tiny little bedroom in South Africa? THAT is the God we love and serve!

Since I woke up on Easter morning yesterday through tonight, God has had me on a deep journey of remembrance, celebration, and introspection. Not only has God revealed Himself, His Son, and His Spirit to me more these past couple days than ever before – but He has also examined my heart and brought to light things about myself that had previously been hidden from me.

You likely do not have time for me to allow my confessions and revelations to spill out over this page, but I do feel compelled by the Spirit to let down my guard and share some of what He showed me this weekend.

Friends, I do not want to paint a picture of perfection while I am over here serving in South Africa and updating you via somewhat-weekly blog posts. I never want to paint any sort of picture of perfection when I am sharing about anything or anyone other than Christ Himself. You and I both know full well I am far from perfect. I struggle with sin, the enemy, my flesh, and spirituality each and every day. Praise God He sent His Son to forever intercede for you and me as our High Priest, and that as He molds us into His image each day, He is drawing us nearer to perfection – though we will never reach it, as we seek after Christ with our whole heart He changes us so that we might grow toward it.

Anyway, that is somewhat beside the point. Let me reference God’s Word to hopefully help guide the conversation back to the Center:

“Then He said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it…’

“A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, ‘If you want to be My disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison – your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be My disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow Me, you cannot be My disciple. But don’t begin until you count the cost…’

“Peter said, ‘We’ve left our homes to follow You.’

‘Yes,’ Jesus replied, ‘and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God, will be repaid many times over in this life, and will have eternal life in the world to come.” –Luke 9, 14, 18

The Lord drove these words deep into my soul today. You see, I had been walking through each day thinking God had already made me realize this life is not about me since my first semester of college at Texas A&M in 2008. It was then that all of a sudden, when I had no one else to rely on but Christ, our relationship flourished. After 18 years of living a life where I felt like the whole world revolved around Meghan Hendrickson – the Lord met me right where I was and gave me a painful, yet freeing, dose of reality.

Well God did that once again today. With every day for the last few years, God has grown my desire to bring Him honor in everything I do. I would say He has exponentially grown that desire within me since I have been in South Africa this semester. But no matter how many times I pray the Lord will lead me in His will as I surrender all I am to Him – I somehow have been entirely blinded to the sin of selfishness I am still treading through.

Jesus denied Himself when He took my sin and the sin of all humanity upon Himself on the cross He carried. Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice because the reward was better – salvation was better – HE was better. The love of God far outweighed the cost Christ suffered.

I am praying the Spirit enables me to put to words what He wrote on my heart this afternoon.

Originally, I was convicted to the extreme by the fact that although I may seek to deny myself and take up my cross daily to follow Jesus, that does not necessarily mean I follow-through and do so.

“Am I holding on to my life Jesus? Am I carrying my cross? Am I denying myself? Am I losing my life for Your sake?”

Those were some of the questions I brought to the foot of the cross today. No one else but my Savior could answer my questions, for I seek the approval of God and no one else.

In but an instant the Lord’s saving grace and powerful rescue came rushing in as I was wrecked with tears. For better or for worse, I am committed to following Jesus as long as I live – no matter the cost.

My sickness over Easter was by no means a great cost, but it was exactly what the Lord knew I needed to see the costs He is having me experience as He continues to lead me down this road of obedience through faith.

I was comfortable with the best friends I have ever made in my 21 years of living at Texas A&M, but God called me to pick up my cross and follow Him to Baylor. I was comfortable being able to call and visit my loving family whenever I wanted during the trials of college life in Texas, but God called me to pick up my cross and follow Him to South Africa.

I have left my friends. I have left my family. But the Lord has never left me – and He never will.

The Lord has helped me to deny myself in ways I did not even notice, and I am calling on Him to help me to deny myself in EVERYTHING. Though my end goal may be to bring glory to God, I am not perfect and in the process of seeking to worship Him with my life, I make several impulsive decisions that are not for the sake of the cross, but for the sake of my fulfillment.

“Father, I believe whoever loses their life for Your sake will find it. I believe when I surrendered my life to Your Lordship, I accepted a life of both blessings and difficulties. Father, help me to see Christ face-to-face every morning and every night as He reminds me to deny myself, and pick up my cross, and follow Him. May Your Holy Spirit grant me the discernment to know how to live, and move, and breathe for the glory of Your Name – the Name above all other names. Thank You for the freeing fact that there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Thank You for Your redeeming rescue all the days of this life You give me. I love You Father, thank You for loving me.”

-Meghan

Friday, April 22, 2011

Sacrifice

Friday, April 22, 2011

Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High.” –Psalm 50:14
The Lord brought me to this verse in our alone time this Good Friday morning. Many times in Scripture we read that God does not desire our burnt offerings and animal sacrifices – He desires our hearts. I believe somewhere in the Psalter it says the sacrifice God desires is a broken spirit. But this morning – on the one day of the year dedicated to the remembrance of the greatest sacrifice of God’s one and only Son, Jesus Christ – He commanded me to make thankfulness my sacrifice to Him.
This is not just a coincidence my friends. You see, this Easter I am nearer to the Lord than I have ever been before, but further from my family than I have ever been before. Like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Easter is a family holiday filled with love and traditions. In 21 years, I have never spent Easter away from my family. While I am grateful I am not missing Christmas, it is a very odd Easter holiday as I am on the other side of the world bundling up in the winter chill during a holiday that is typically the epitome of springtime.
Though the Lord made clear to me earlier this week that the meaning behind Easter is still the same, I still felt the whole experience of Easter would be different – and it will be. But that is exactly where the Lord caught me this morning:
As He awakened me before my alarm buzzed, all I could see and hear was Jesus praying to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, and then walking over to see His disciples sleeping. “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?” (Mark 14:37) I heard Jesus ask.
As I got out of bed and began to clean myself up for the day, the Spirit began to sing this song from the depths of my soul:
“I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene.  And I wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean?
How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

For me it was in the garden He prayed, ‘Not my will, but Thine.’ He had no tears for His own griefs, but sweat drops of blood for mine.

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own. He bore the burden to Calvary, and suffered and died alone.

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

When with the ransomed in glory His face I at last shall see, 'Twill be my joy through the ages, to sing of His love for me!

How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!”

After I had been awakened to the voice of Jesus the night before His crucifixion and had this precious song sung over me by the Spirit reigning within me, it was at that moment the Lord then brought me to read His Word in Psalm 50: Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High.”
This Easter may feel different to me for several reasons, but I have more than enough to be thankful for on this Good Friday. When Jesus prayed the Father would take away the cup of suffering He was going to face on this day, but further surrendered to the will of the Most High and not His own, God did not take away that cup of suffering.
Jesus paid the ultimate price for my sins and the sins of all humanity on this day. Jesus gave His life so I might have life and have it to the full! Not only on this Good Friday, or on Easter Sunday, or on Christmas Eve, but on every single calendar day and during every single moment I should praise the Lord in thankfulness for the gift of life and freedom He has given me!
Jesus was sacrificed on this day for me. Jesus was put to death on this day for you. Jesus was crucified on this day for our brothers and sisters warring against one another in Africa. Jesus surrendered to the will of the Father on this day for those enslaved in Asia. Jesus gave up His life as a ransom for many – you, me, our neighbors, our co-workers, our family, our friends, and our enemies – those we know and have never heard of. Jesus died for all of us on this day as He paid the penalty for all of our sins. None of us are worthy. Scripture says not even one of us is righteous.
On this Good Friday, I am thankful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ. During this Easter holiday, I am thankful for the presence of the Holy Spirit Jesus has given me and the promise that He will never leave me. My sacrifice to God is thankfulness for His love and redemption. May He be honored and glorified through my thankfulness today and forevermore!
I pray the Lord brings to mind the countless ways He has blessed us in life, but even more, I pray He keeps our eyes on His Son who gave us life. Though I am thankful for the many blessings the Lord continues to bestow upon me, I am forever thankful for the LORD.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” –Psalm 23:1
Father, help us to remember You, and give thanks to You and for You all the days of our lives,
Meghan
“But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me.” –Psalm 50:23

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Listen

Saturday, April 16, 2011

As some of you may already know, I wear hearing aids. I almost got them in kindergarten, but the technology was not so impressive back in 1995. However, in December 2004 I finally got hearing aids and have lived everyday with them since. My hearing loss is hereditary, permanent, and likely to worsen over time. Hearing aids are a huge help, but there is only so much they can do. I will never hear clearly here on earth.

But do you know what is beyond beautiful? Though my physical hearing will always fail me, God never ceases from fine-tuning my spiritual hearing on a journey toward perfection. No, I will never be perfect, but I pray the Lord fashions me to look more and more like His precious and holy Son each day, and His standards are nothing short of perfection.

I do apologize for how much time has passed since I last wrote online about what the Lord is doing in my life, but I know God had great purpose in me waiting until today to share with you. The Spirit has constantly been renewing and refining my perspective since I last wrote. I wish I could share with you every truth He has opened my eyes and ears to see and understand in that time, but this is not the outlet in which to do so.

One theme the Lord has had for me over this last month or so has been hearing. God daily brings me back to the powerful truth that He listens to the prayers and the cries of my heart. But do you know what is perhaps even more awe-inspiring than that? He teaches me to listen to His voice too! God is rapidly bringing healing to my soul as He lavishes clarity upon me so I might discern His voice in the midst of a world of chaos.

My Teacher has spoken oceans of truth and gardens of visions to me in this season of life in Africa. I do not believe He is speaking to me any more than He always has, but I do believe He is enabling me to hear Him better with each day so I might truly listen to His callings and commands, and faithfully obey them.

One clear calling He laid on my heart at the end of February was to pursue the taste of a vision I believe He has to use the teenagers of the McKinney area to radically impact the community with the love of Christ this summer and beyond. The vision was clear, and the passion was strong, but the obstacles towered over me as I sought to move forward.

But friends, may I testify about the mighty work of our God this morning? Just as the Lord Almighty has demonstrated in my life time and time before, He is destroying those obstacles with His strong right arm in one swift movement! For if God is for me, who shall be against me? God continues to overwhelm me with awe as I experience Him reign over all creation in order for His good and perfect will to be done.

Though much has been done, there is still much to do. However, I feel confident in sharing with you all the fact that God is bringing me home from Africa early in my eyes, but right on time in His. I will fly home the evening of Friday, May 13 and will arrive in Dallas on Saturday afternoon. Originally I was not to return to Texas until June 28, but God’s plans always trump my intentions. He is bringing me back in time to start to lay the groundwork for the vision He has given me, and I believe He has given others, for this summer.

God had me dedicate the last two summers to serving the teenagers of two different youth groups in the McKinney area, and I believe He is calling me to serve the teenagers of the McKinney community once again. Though both youth groups are incredibly strong and overflowing with phenomenal teenagers, I discovered they both share the same weakness: service. Though both have a deep passion to serve, they are limited in scope as to what local service outreaches they can do simply because of their large size. Many local service opportunities cannot accommodate 60 plus teenagers at one time. Oftentimes these large groups of teenagers then have to travel all the way to Dallas to sort through clothes in a warehouse or food in a pantry. While these are important forms of service, God has broken me over the fact that unless teenagers can afford to serve overseas on a mission trip during their youth group experience, they are never able to see the face of service.


God is not calling me home in May to simply go out into the community and do a service project on a weekly basis with some buddies. Though that may be beneficial for a short time, in the grand scheme of things, it is temporary and lacks impact. No my friends, God is calling me to something greater, which requires me to surrender to serve Him with all I am – even though it is bound to be difficult.

My original goal was to have at least one local service outreach opportunity lined up for each weekday of the summer, and to have one or two carloads of various teens from the youth groups and outside the churches serve alongside me, and some other adult leaders God burdens the hearts of, each day. It would not be the same teenagers serving in the same way each day, but each day the community would experience teenagers truly being Christ’s hands and feet as they love as Christ first loved us.

Though God’s plans are quickly surpassing my intentions once again, my desire for teenagers to have the opportunity to not only discover and utilize their spiritual gifts, but also to experience practical forms of service that can be easily applied to their everyday lives, still remains.

I believe the Lord has been planning a movement that starts with the young people of north Texas since before time began, and although we have seen much growth and activity amongst the secondary students of the McKinney community already, I believe we will really see a catalyst amongst them this summer as they truly serve as ambassadors of Jesus Christ.

We were not called to hide behind church walls and denominations; rather, we have been called to stand firm in the armor of God as we daily fight for faith in every aspect of our lives. God has already gotten the ball rolling for this summer, and I do not think it is going to stop. It is like a tumbleweed that continues to get blown across the surface of the globe. Except, this tumbleweed will yield eternal ramifications as it cultivates a radical and passionate love for our Savior amongst all the peoples of the world, making the fields ripe for harvest.

Please join me in prayer over the Lord’s will for this summer. Pray He will continue to burden the hearts of those He wants involved. I ask that you, in the very least, partner with me in continued prayer over the summer, but if you feel the Lord leading you to get involved in a more practical and hands-on manner, do not hesitate to let me know! Pray God will provide opportunities to build capacity in the lives of those in need in the community and in the lives of teenagers. Pray God will open the eyes of the souls He has ordained to serve and be served this summer and beyond; pray He will compel them to stand up, speak out, and reach out in faith, hope, and love. Overall, pray GOD alone will be honored and glorified through what begins this summer, and what I believe will continue indefinitely.

We exist solely for the honor of the Lord’s name. In every prayer, praise, pain, and punishment – we were made to bring glory to the name of the Most High King: Jesus Christ.

Then Jesus explained: “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing His work. You know the saying, ‘Four months between planting and harvest.’ But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe for harvest. The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike! You know the saying, ‘One plants and another harvests.’ And it’s true. I sent you to harvest where you didn’t plant; others had already done the work, and now you will get to gather the harvest.” –John 4:34-38

Grateful for the unending grace of Christ Jesus that forever saves us from this dark world and from ourselves,

Meghan